The Don't Sweat Guide for Parents , by Richard Carlson

The Don't Sweat Guide for Parents consists of 100 two-page articles about a hundred common parenting problems and their common solutions. I believe the advantage of this format is that parents can read it quickly, as the author makes each point directly, with wasting time on background discussion or tangential anecdotes.

The compactness of the volume (5.53 X 6.52 X 0.54 inches) suggests the convenience of carrying it in a pocket, and reading it on a local bus, or while waiting for an appointment.

However, the compact format has a potential disadvantage for some readers. As the author allocates the space to cover the one most frequently optimal solution to each problem, he can't offer extended advice for a parent who may respond, "I tried the recommendation in the book, but it doesn't seem quite right for my own situation. What else do you have?"

For example, consider the second paragraph in the article, 91. Get Your Kids to Cooperate...

"First of all, be clear and specific about what you want done. Making general statements such as, 'This basement is a mess!' when you want the kids to clean the basement isn't going to work. Instead, tell them specifically, 'Kids, I want you to clean the basement right now!' It's also important to avoid beginning requests with, 'Will you?' 'Could you?' or 'Would you?' This sends your kids the message that honoring your request is optional." [Quoted from page 204]

The need to make all requests specific is correct, of course. The same point, which has its basis in well-developed psychological theory, is taught to student teachers, industrial management trainees, and others who need to obtain the cooperation of others. This advice would also alleviate many marital misunderstandings.

However, consider whether it's best to avoid beginning requests with "Will you...?" Some parents (and teachers and industrial managers) may find that phrasing requests as requests achieves better cooperation, and perhaps even a degree of sympathy with the requestors' positions. Others may not find this to be true, due either to differing personalities or situations.

Such examples indicate that Dr. Carlson has allocated the space to provide the most generally useful advice for each problem, thereby setting the length of each article to be two pages.

In making my point, I dont want to create a false impression of the brevity of each article. Note that I have cited only one of his six paragraphs addressing the issue, Get Your Kids to Cooperate. I haven't quoted his complete answer.

The primary advantage of the book is its organization into brief but sharply focused articles. I read the book in a short time by reading an article or two each time a TV advertisement came on. Combine this tactical plus for readers with the low paperback price, and every parent is better off having read than if one were to pass up the opportunity.

Reviewed by Mike Lepore for crimsonbird.com